Appendix 8

1. The problem has actually no solution. We cannot control all incoming and offered personal help and divide it equally among children; besides, this approach is actually wrong! Our task is to make the situation less traumatic for the children who get less attention from benefactors and volunteers.

2. You should prepare families and children for the fact that there can be plenty of those willing to help one child and few of those ready to help another child. While talking with children who ask,"Why does he get this and that while I don't?..", you should emphasize the positive aspects, "But you're receiving treatment and getting better. It is a great reward! So there is no need to get upset!"

3. The charity organization need not necessarily arrange children's birthday parties all by itself; it is a lot of work, and it is hardly possible to avoid prejudice and inequality in a matter like this. The Overcoming Mission from Simferopol celebrates the common holidays (Christmas, International Childhood Cancer Day, Easter, the Day of a Recovered Child) together at the department; at the same time, it is usually the doctors who say "Happy birthday" to each child and give him or her a small toy (they have a lot in the staff lounge).

4. If an organization has still decided to arrange birthday parties, they should be held for all children. If there are several such organizations in a town or city, they should cooperate and inform each other about when the children have birthdays to make a party for each of them.

5. If any of the benefactors wants to arrange a large party for a certain child, it should be done outside the hospital department if possible. In case it is impossible because of the child's condition, they should try to arrange it as the child's present to other children in the department rather than a present to the child.

6. Any money coming or allocated from common funds of a particular organization to a certain child should be presented as help coming from a specific benefactor (open or anonymous) who has decided to help this particular child.

7. An organization should always keep in touch with volunteers working with particular children.

8. Cooperation with the doctor-in-charge is necessary in order to get information about what each child needs most at the moment, and help should be provided with allowance for that information rather than for demands of the child's family.